Being a slub, when Friday afternoon rolls around each week you basically have your weekend planned. Your stretchy pants are exactly where you left them last night waiting for you to spend a whole weekend in them; there is a 6 pound bag of mozzarella cheese in your fridge waiting to be dumped on your homemade pizza; the box of wine you bought last week has aged beautifully for this much-anticipated, glorious weekend of slubbing around.
But this weekend, the Slub House defied our deeply ingrained, slubby identities and did the unthinkable: we went out. That’s right. Out. Dear readers, you would be so proud. We certainly are.
Since we typically spend our Friday nights lounging on our futon watching episodes of Arrested Development or The Office until way past when we all agreed we would go to sleep, we, the Slubs, do not know many bars in Minneapolis. A friend asked me the other week to name some of the great bars I had explored in my super trendy neighborhood and the only place I could name was Common Roots. This is a cafe. Not a bar. No one is dancing on tables and having margaritas made in their mouths (I imagine most bar activity like that “party” scene from Ten Things I Hate About You when Kat gets way trashed at that party and hits her head on a chandelier after breaking it down on the dining room table. My perception may be slightly skewed.) The look I received suggested I should get out more. Note taken. Which explains my desire to attend the 0-4 year St. Olaf Homecoming party at the 508 Bar. And for the record, it’s a real bar. Not a cafe.
After Nora, Laura, and I agonized over what we could wear to look semi-appropriate and dressed-up, we sat down to enjoy our personal, homemade pizzas with Kat, the diehard Slub who decided to stay home. Desperate to hype ourselves up for all the socializing and inevitable “Adult” Pause dancing, we cranked up the Beyonce and Shakira and prepared for our evening out. Seduced by the glamour of a night out, Kat changed her mind and decided to join us!
Hide your pizza belly, ladies! We’re going out!
Readers and fellow slubs in practice or at heart, you would be so proud. We stayed out until almost 11 pm. Consequently, the next night Kat, Laura, and I slubbed it up and donned our sweatshirts to see Bridesmaids at the Riverview Theater. Nora, our inspiration, went out for another night of fun in Northeast. You’ll have to ask her for all the non-slubby details.
So you see, dear reader, at times even we Slubs enjoy a night out. However, don’t think that I won’t be putting on my stretchy pants real soon because I will.